I am ready to take on jealousy.
So yesterday I talked to someone who told me about the old girlfriend of a friend of his, and she would just leave the room when he had a lot of fun with someone other than her because she couldn’t deal with it. And I could see myself reacting like that as well, just because of that insane fear to lose her inside of me and the urge to always be the best person in the world to her, the biggest source of happyness, the best person to talk to in any situation, the person to feel home with, because that’s what she means to me and I want to give it back. But jealousy is not the way, jealousy destroys everything, it makes you blind and it makes you hurt. I am ready to take on the fight against jealousy like I once took on the fight against anger, the best way to face it is straight on, I’ll sit in the same room with her as she has loads of fun with good friends of hers, and I’ll die inside, many times, but each time I’ll be born again stronger than before and at some point, I’ll be ok with it. Then I’ll be free, I’ll lose that weight on my heart, that constant worry, that barrier I have put upon myself. I am ready now. Wish me luck.