I know I haven’t talked for a while my life’s been going up and down and there have been a lot of things happening. But overall I have to say that the world seems to be on fire right now, everything is going up and down, on one side you have the monopoly of Google and other big tech giants that seem to want to enslave humanity and take control over everything and everyone to increase their profit margins by another few Billions next month. And then you also have the Transgender Movement pushing Kids into gender surgeries and hormone blockers and I don’t even know anything really about that yet (don’t take that as a stance I just watched the “What is a Woman” documentary so my mind is still kinda captured by that). I’m moving faster and faster every day and then I fall and then I stop and then I feel like I never moved at all. And at the end of the day suddenly I notice that I’ve been hanging on my computer all day long and reading about the news and I broke my own rule of focussing on the close world around me instead of listening to the huge media outlets and I need to change that again, I’m getting scared. This world is scary and it seems really dangerous but at the end of the day it’s all just perception. The world around me hasn’t changed a bit from when I sat down at the computer, but yet it feels so different. It could very well all just be an illusion. Nothing that matters and all I care about is I don’t know, I tumble and I fall and then I stand straight again. I lost myself in the machine, and even though I’m writing it down it doesn’t help. It’s 11:55 PM and I’m sitting here writing my thoughts into a computer screen and I can’t go to bed yet because my gf is still out & about and I don’t want to go to bed before I know that she’s well or at least at home in safety. My mind has calmed down a bit now. I just burried my head in my arms. I will survive.